You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
