i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Will you blow on my dice?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
