Screwed.edu
my vag is so smooth its legendary
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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