I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
