You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
