I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
