I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize