He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
