She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
