I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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