Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
