I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
