i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
its liver damage thursday
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
