I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
