woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
