I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
