I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
