Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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