i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
