that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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