you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
