Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
