wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
