I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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