he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
