Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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