I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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