You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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