Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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