if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
