Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
