I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
