i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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