Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
