how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Two words: blizzard sex
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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