the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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