the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
