Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
