So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize