Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
