i don't like sucking hair
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
