You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
