I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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