Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
