this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
