she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
