Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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