i don't like sucking hair
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
