i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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