the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
