I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
