I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
