Where did you get a picture of my penis
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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