Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
