she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Randomize
