I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
