Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
