The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
