fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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