nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
