Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
