ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
