White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
