did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
