come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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