I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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