Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
